Money is one of the significant conversations you will have with your partner during your relationship. Marriage has always been an economic proposition, but in recent years relationships have become more about love than finances.
Money is an awkward conversation even if you’ve known people for a very long time which is why so many couples shy away from talking about it. However, if you’re cohabiting or being in each other’s lives, you will likely have the conversation sooner or later.
We recommend discussing finances with your partner as it helps you build a strong foundation for the relationship. If you and your partners have differing views on money, then you should know this early in the relationship.
If you face money problems after marriage and don’t know how to handle them, divorce is in the cards, as money issues are the second leading reason for divorce in couples. Money can be an iffy issue for anyone, but there are ways to talk to your partner that will lead to a more constructive conversation. How do have a conversation with your partner about money?
Make A Date Night Of It
When you’re talking to your partner about finances, you should discuss that you’ll be having the conversation beforehand. This way, they can prepare for it instead of feeling ambushed and not being in the right headspace for the conversation.
If you want to make it romantic, then you can always make a whole date night out of it. You can order your favorite meal or cook at home to end the night on a high once the conversation is over.
You must ensure that both you and your partner are grounded before you have the conversation. Another note is that neither of you should be hungry enough to want to rush through the conversation.
Go Into The Nitty-Gritties
It’s straightforward to have a surface-level conversation, but an actual conversation about money means you have to question them regarding what you will pay for and the money they’ll be shouldering. If you’re living together, then who’s paying for the utilities, and who’s paying for the rent?
Are both of you contributing to the household? What percentage of your income is spent on each other etc.? Lean into the conversation, as staying away will lead to something other than your desired resolution.
Introduce Structure
It would be wise to structure the conversation if you feel you need space to discuss your feelings. Use stationery so that you remember what the other person mentioned.
Some couples use timers to ensure that the other person gets as much time as one does. Experts say that you’re less likely to get defensive when you’re writing things down. It will lead to a much better conversation moving forward.
Don’t Try To Solve Everything In One Go
Your financial issues happen over time, and it’s unrealistic for you to want to solve all the financial issues that both of you have in one night. Instead, we recommend consistency.
Have a conversation about your finances every month. Make sure you take the time to listen to what the other person is saying to solve your issues over time.
Talking about money with anyone can be difficult, but you must remember that you’re talking to your partner at the end of the day. They want to sit with your discomfort and make your relationship safe, which is why you must talk to them about money.
